My Pregnancy Journey: The Big Surprise
Thanks for following my 2nd pregnancy journey! I hope you find encouragement, inspiration and some helpful advice as we learn from Baby J2! Enjoy the very first installment of My Pregnancy Journey: The Big Surprise.
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My Pregnancy Journey: The Big Surprise
It’s early June. Life seems to have found a routine of normalcy. Baby Kai is about to turn the Big One. There is so much to do–Father’s Day events and planning for Baby Kai’s birthday bash all within a week!
I’m exhausted. Like super, duper exhausted. It’s making me a little crabby.
But this is life, right? Chasing a one-year-old, planning stuff, keeping up with the house and all the church events, too. I keep telling myself to cowgirl up.
This is life. I can’t let responsibilities of the day-to-day get to me like this. I mean, this is normal stuff.
My pep talks aren’t helping as much as I like. I find myself brewing a second pot of coffee in the afternoon. Even still, I’m often giving up and just crashing when Baby Kai goes down for his nap.
I just simply can’t keep my eyes open.
Monday night I cook a steak. My husband is not a steak fan, so I cook him some tilapia. He devours his tilapia dinner while I enjoy a plate of brussel sprouts and steak.
Tuesday night I’m in the mood for steak. I cook Adam his dinner and then re-fire the stove. Steak is on the menu. And for a side? Hmm… brussel sprouts sound amazing. Think I’ll do it again.
Thursday night and it’s dinner time. Guess what sounds good? Steak. And brussel sprouts.
My husband is giving me the side eye while I savor my dinner with relish (again, he’s eating something else). Brussel sprouts have never tasted this good.
Friday night. You’ve guessed it.
The entire next week I had a piece of toast smothered in a paprika-saturated scrambled egg, all topped with sliced avocado for breakfast. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday… you get the idea.
I ate it like a woman starved.
Now, it’s a little past mid-June. I’m feeling something…different. It’s not gas. It’s not butterflies (I’m not nervous), but I’m feeling some strange sensations in my lower abdomen.
Not movements–just little twinges. My instincts are now screaming out, making me aware of something.
I haven’t been taking my vitamins (shame on me) even though I’m still nursing. Maybe I’m depleted of something. After all, I’m ravenous for very specific foods. My body is trying to tell me something.
I get this funny feeling… what if…?
That’s really not possible. My system is still getting back to normal after having Kai, so the chances are like… WAY slim… but, still. I’ll just test to rule it out and put my mind at ease.
By process of elimination, I’ll find out what the problem is. Most likely I have a vitamin deficiency or something.
The Big Surprise
The. Test. Is. Positive.
What… how… I mean…
My breath has left in a rush. Okay. Big breath. Easy, girl. You’ve got this. This is life. This is part of it all. Just take a big breath.
I’m in the bathroom, pacing on my tip-toes so I don’t alert Adam. I need a second to process this. This was definitely not expected.
After our trial and miracle with Baby Kai, we certainly weren’t expecting a surprise–and this soon! We had barely discussed a second baby!
We’ve got a cruise scheduled in 2 months. We’d talk about it after that, see if we felt ready or needed more time. I’m still a good 10 lbs over my goal weight for a second pregnancy.
And I have a one-year-old! What!? I’m still learning to be a mama to him, let alone to another…
Okay, breathe. Just wait. Don’t let the Type-A spiral out of control. Stay calm. Think this through. I text my cousin. She and I are in the same season of parenting. Our babies are three days apart. I send her the test. She is quickly the voice of reason.
My heart slows down and the weird rushing in my ears cools off just a bit. Okay, now, I need to decide if this is the right moment to tell Adam. Of course it is. Adam doesn’t like prolonged surprises about this kind of thing.
He also knows me better than I know myself in some ways and he’ll read my face like a book. I don’t feel right keeping it from him.
It’s Time to Tell Him
I take some deep breaths. Take a moment and pray. I’m feeling calmer now. I have the presence of mind to turn on my phone camera and start recording.
Even though this is crazy, I still want the memory of it all. I walk into his office. He’s holding Kai and multitasking with work stuff like an amazing dad.
He notices the camera. “Why are you recording?”
I don’t prolong it. I produce the positive test. The look on his face is utter shock. His face goes completely slack for a moment.
“Are you serious?”
I nod. The trembling has started again. I start rambling about how I just bought the test to rule this out because of my fatigue and my feeling “off” lately.
I’m stuttering and stammering. I don’t know why, but the ridiculous idea that he’d feel framed or set up crosses my mind, so I’m babbling to reassure him that I’m completely surprised and this is so unexpected.
Adam’s eyes are shining. His smile is huge. He’s up on his feet and pulls me into a hug. He’s elated. Over the moon. I’m completely covered in relief. I’m still freaking out, though, because I’m a control-freak and my Type-A has just taken a massive hit.
It doesn’t matter, now, because Adam is emotional and absolutely thrilled. This makes my heart happy. I’m already falling in love with our crazy little surprise.
We Can Do This
With Adam hugging me, reassuring me, wiping happy tears, I feel like we can so do this.
I’m not completely fearless. Yes, I’m feeling out of control and completely upended, but after our first pregnancy ordeal, this is undeniably a God thing.
I’m going to embrace it, strap on my seat belt and keep my arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times.
Let’s get this roller coaster party started.