Adam and I were ready to start our family. I scheduled a check-up with my primary doctor to ensure I was physically in a good place. While I felt great, I have a history of anemia and I wanted to make sure my iron levels were good as well as a few other things. I received an “all-clear”.
After several months, we realized something wasn’t right. I headed back to the doctor, and was referred to a specialist. After more blood work, it was confirmed that all was not well. My hormone levels were off, and my body was not functioning well enough to grant us a child.
I was already a healthy and active adult. There wasn’t much the doctors could offer me in the way of a natural method of healing. My weight was healthy and normal, my diet was clean (minus a couple meals here and there), I was taking vitamins and on my feet every day.
The specialist gave me the news that in order to become pregnant I would need medication. This medication, however, was hard on the body and was a risk to the baby should I become pregnant while taking it. There weren’t any other options.
I politely declined the medication. The specialist wished me a good day and told me to come back in six months when I still hadn’t conceived and she would refer me to a fertility specialist. She also referred me to another specialist who would be contacting me. It was for the best.
It felt like salt being poured into the wound. I was given this news, and when I declined the medication, was told I would most certainly be back in six months. By then it would have been a year without success and I would qualify to see a fertility specialist.
At this point, I did the only thing I could do. I made it a matter of prayer. By August of 2017, we had a special speaker at our church. He was a young man with a powerful ministry. One particular service he called me forward with my husband. He discreetly put the microphone behind his back and spoke softly with us.
He confirmed with us that the Lord had spoken to him regarding our situation and he was going to pray for us. He instructed us to go home and prepare for a child.His words were, “God is going to give you a child–not because of anything you’ve done, but because He’s faithful.”He prayed for us that night. I went home, wrote down my experience and hung some baby hangers in the closet by faith.
It was October 15th, 2017, when I got my long awaited “double lines”. When the second specialist called me, I was able to happily inform their office that I was expecting and wouldn’t be needing their services, but thank you very much for your call.
I have battled the spectrum of emotions from deep gratitude to dealing with feelings of guilt. It was a difficult several months, but in the grand scheme of things, that’s not truly a long time compared to what others have faced. Why God decided to answer our prayer after only a matter of months is a mystery.
But, while I can’t explain it all, I can say this. We struggled with the emotions and disappointments. We tasted what it’s like to wish for a child and be told it won’t happen. I will never presume to understand everyone’s struggle–it’s completely different for everyone. But I can say that we serve a faithful God. That had been established in my soul long before I received any healing.
He is still a Healer. This is a tender subject for many. God is still Jehovah-Rapha.
For everyone out there who is struggling with fertility, you are in our prayers and you have a special place in my heart. I am believing with you for your miracle. You are strong and you are incredible. You have all of our love and support.It is my deepest desire and my prayer that you will soon hold that sweet child in your arms.
The best thing this journey taught me is that we can get in His presence, to find that place of prayer. It is there we find peace and comfort, and where Jehovah-Rapha, the God who heals, can mend our broken heart.
It is in His presence that miracles are performed.