Hey, Dads! Elizabeth at Mama Fearless, here! First of all, THANK YOU on behalf of your wife for caring enough to read this and learn 10 ways Dad can help Mom during pregnancy!
You’re seriously a hero for that and even if she doesn’t have the energy to express it, she’s grateful!
I’m sure you’ve noticed that things are changing around the house. It’s probably getting pretty interesting these days.
Don’t worry! It will get easier, and things will find a good routine. If this is your first rodeo, everything will be fine. If not, welcome back! You’re smart and knew right where to go!
Alright, I’m going to help you out with 10 ways Dad can help Mom during pregnancy. This will make Mom’s life easier, help carry some of the load, and improve the overall atmosphere at home.
Great job, wise Dad!
What Is Going On With Your Wife!?
She’s emotional, she’s changing, she’s tired… all the time.
No, she hasn’t been snatched by aliens. Right now your incredible wife is growing a human-being inside her and every part of, well, her is sacrificed to that cause for now.
Her body is making room for that growing child. Her hormones have shifted and changed to grow that baby.
She’s lost sleep, puked, suffered headaches, backaches, insomnia, her body is changing, and she still has to carry on throughout her day.
The amount of fatigue your wife is experiencing is the equivalent of climbing a rock wall… on top of all her extra duties.
That’s not an exaggeration. That’s what my OB told my husband at our first prenatal appointment. With my first child. Before I was pregnant a second time and chasing a toddler around.
Working or Working
If your wife is working, she’s pretty amazing. If she’s staying home and tending the house and kids, she’s still amazing. Regardless of what type of work she’s doing, she’s accomplishing some serious tasks either way.
In some ways, being a stay-at-home mom or a work-at-home mom is harder than working full time out of the house. Take it from a mama who’s done both.
No, I’m not crazy.
Why is that? Well, trade places for a day with her and see just how much work is involved. It gets pretty cray-cray.
If she’s working a full-time job (or even part-time), she’s seriously buff. If she’s working a job and already has children, she’s even more buff. That means she’s got to get up, get herself ready and then she’s got kiddos to get ready for the day.
After working her shift (where she probably puked at least once and had to carry on), she cooks dinner, has children to bathe, chores to finish…
I’m just going to stop there.
Basically, your wife is a superhero during pregnancy (and any other time, too).
Would you like to join the super-heroism? Trust me when I say your joining in is most welcome!
Here Are 10 Ways Dad Can Help Mom During Pregnancy
10 ways Dad can help Mom during Pregnancy
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Dishes are an extension of some sort of swamp monster. They grow and seep out of the sink across the counter before you have time to blink. If there’s a dishwasher, that helps but it’s still a constant battle to keep the monster at bay.
Popping into the kitchen every once in a while to do the dishes or even help with drying and putting away is a huge way to help.
Besides, there are fewer things better looking than a hubby with sudsy hands. Just sayin’.
2: Change Diapers
I know. This one is totally gross but look. Even if it’s just pee diapers, you have no idea how much help it is to be able to grab the kiddos for a quick change.
Mama’s belly is growing, which means lifting and managing squirming tots is getting harder as the weeks go by. If you hear her huffing and puffing, she’s not being dramatic.
She’s literally having to work harder to get quality air.
I wish I could convey the incredible amount of relief I feel when my husband picks up our son and takes him for a diaper change. He turns into a knight in shining armor in my eyes.
3: Take the Other Kids Out
This is a chore. I get it. If you have just one other kiddo, it’s a chore but a lot smaller. If you have two or more, I understand that this can get crazy.
Which is why you taking on the task is an enormous way to help your wife out and let her get some uninterrupted sleep.
Taking the kids out doesn’t mean doing something that will stress you out or require serious energy.
Here are some places you might consider taking your kids to run around while you sit and watch:
- The park
- A fast-food play area
- An indoor activity center
- A library with an activity area
- A school playground after hours
4: Bring Home Take-Out or Make Sandwiches
Honestly, whether you order take-out or make sandwiches, Mama isn’t going to care. She’ll be so grateful that you took on that chore and she’ll eat whatever you prepare with ravenous relish.
I know many guys really enjoy cooking which is great. My husband is not one of them. He has a couple specialties: Soup and Sandwiches.
And that’s perfect.
I love when he makes whatever he makes. Making a simple little meal for the family (or ordering take-out and serving it up) is a great way to earn some kisses!
5: Bathe the Kiddos
If your children are older this is easy but if your kid/kids are still quite young and require supervision, this one can be very taxing on pregnant mama.
Leaning over the tub to help wash and rinse is another “huffing and puffing required” task. It’s uncomfortable no matter how she maneuvers, and it can be a slip hazard too.
If your children don’t splash and get water on the floor, I want to meet those angels.
Otherwise, Mama is watching the kids, washing and rinsing, then helping them properly dry off, all while leaning over that hard tub’s edge and trying not to slip on little puddles.
You have no idea how much help giving the kids a bath is to her. Or maybe you do. If you do, bless you, Daddy. You’re seriously a hero.
6: Take On A Couple Extra Chores
I’ve already given you some ideas about a couple chores you can take on. I know you’re exhausted from working, too, and this is where becoming a team is crucial.
The chores that require more elbow grease are the ones that quickly tax Mama’s strength and energy. This is where your help would be greatly appreciated.
Here are some ideas:
- Taking out the Trash
Here are some smaller chores that have to be done every day:
- Wiping down the toilet/sink/shower
- Wiping down highchairs
- Picking up stray toys/items
- Making beds
No, this is not a complete list but it’s a good start. Choosing just a couple of these chores to help out with would make a massive difference!
7: Put Gas In the Car
There isn’t much that’s more exhausting than collapsing into the car after buckling car seats and maneuvering diaper bags and–oh yeah–that huge baby bump, and turning on the car, only to find it needs gas.
On top of that, the smell of fuel is also a very common sicky trigger for a lot of expectant women.
Taking the time to go fuel up the car is an unbelievable help!
8: Overlook the Messes
There are times when you don’t have the time to do much around the house and Mama simply doesn’t have the energy.
Some extra clutter during pregnancy is hands-down a given. It just happens. Trust me, your wife notices, too.
She most likely is being way too hard on herself about not being able to keep the house like she usually does while feeling helpless about not having the strength to do much about it.
It’s at these times when a little extra grace is so appreciated.
Refraining from making any comments or criticizing is a kindness your wife will deeply appreciate. She’s already being hard on herself (trust me on that one), and having your understanding makes all the difference.
9: Foot or Back Rub/Draw A Bath
There are going to be some tough days. This is the name of the game and if you’ve been on the pregnancy journey before, you totally understand where I’m coming from.
Offering to give a foot or back massage is a wonderful way to show your support. Another great way to help is to offer to start a bath. Sprinkling some Epsom salt and lighting a favorite candle are wonderful, too!
10: Encourage, Encourage, ENCOURAGE
The easiest way to offer your support is to encourage your wife. Seriously, just a few kind words of, “You’re doing great,” or “you look beautiful,” make such a difference!
Here are a few other things your pregnant wife would love to hear from you:
- “You’re doing a wonderful job.”
- “I know it’s not easy, and you’re killing it!”
- “Your pregnant look is beautiful!”
- “What can I do to help?”
- “What would you like me to do right now?”
- “I may not understand, but I’m here for you.”
Some Pro-Dad Tips
So I asked my husband about his thoughts on this subject and his very first response to my question: “What advice would you give dads about their pregnant wives?” was this:
In his words:
“Words you might think are harmless or casual may not be to your pregnant wife. She’s more sensitive during this time, so think twice about what you say and do. Just make extra effort to be sensitive to her feelings.”
I thought that was awfully sweet and rather brilliant, so I wanted to share them with you.
Don’t Get Overwhelmed
This is a list of 10 ways Dad can help Mom during pregnancy. This doesn’t mean you need to do everything on this list every day. That’s a bit unrealistic.
View this list as 10 ideas to choose from to help your wife when you can see she needs it.
If you’re not sure which one to choose or where to start, just ask her. She may have some other ideas of things you can do that aren’t on this list.
Hang in there, Dad! This is a beautiful season, but it’s also challenging at times–for both of you. Use this opportunity to grow as a team and become stronger.
Buy your wife this pregnancy book! Psst! There’s a chapter in there for you, too!
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One More Thing–Thank You
Thank you, Dads, for taking the time to find ways to be helpful. It means more than you could possibly know. Thank you, Dads, for being sensitive to your wife’s needs and actively working to be apart of the team. What you’re doing is commendable and so worthy of respect and gratitude.
We mamas understand that dads have a lot of pressures on their plates, too, and that things can get stressful. Marriage isn’t about giving 50/50. It’s giving 100/100, and sometimes 150/50 or 80/70 or… well, you get it.
So you are appreciated, you are respected, and you are heroes!
All the pregnant mamas who are too tired to find the words.